Saturday, September 29, 2007

希斯路的晨霧(中)

過關意外地順利。拿著三等公民的BN(O)來英國,著實有不少好處。第一,它能為你省下千多元的簽證費;第二,你不會像家畜一樣被拿去檢疫幾個小時;第三,海關亦不會叫你在住下後向警局登記(這是需要繳付數十鎊的)。這夠「皇恩浩蕩」了吧?非常不幸,以上種種優待,持特區護照之人士都無緣享有。

清晨六點便走出了希斯路的T3,你猜我第一件做的是甚麼事?我想很多人都猜不到。我第一件做的事,便是走進WHSmith雜誌店打算買份《The Guardian》,冒充一下左仔。英國人的Ideology取向涇渭分明,報紙的立場比之香港亦鮮明得多,看著行人手上拿的是甚麼報紙,便大概能猜到他是甚麼人了。一個英國人如果見到一個華裔面孔的青年,手上拿著一份《The Guardian》,定會覺得非常匹配。「嘿嘿,又是一個放洋過來的小資左仔。」心中多了幾分蔑視。

如果你當真想假扮地道的英國人,奉勸各位一句,還是拿著一份《The Sun》為妙。普通英國人看到,會倍感親切。難道你當真以為他們開口閉口都是蕭伯納,羅素,凱恩斯,而且還會經常聲討英美姑息格魯吉亞狂人總統?Sorry。普羅英人還是對Kate Moss跟誰睡過和維多利亞胸脯的真偽比較感興趣。

我走進雜誌社,左顧右盼,都找不到一份《The Guardian》。清晨六時,報紙不可能售罄吧?想來工黨右轉多年,左仔在英國已不成氣候,連《The Guardian》亦無人問津了。所以今天很多人都問:「英國人,你現在究竟信甚麼?」

10 comments:

sun said...

如果向利物浦市拎住份 The Sun
可能會有反效果啊

Dreaminning said...

I am using HKSAR's passport, but never got any problem geting through the custom. I think it really depends on the purpose of the stay. and if I am not wrong, HK passport also don't have to register with the police, but PRC do.

Pepsidrinker said...

i usually get a FT now... the orange paper kinda tell other, i work in the city.... haha although that city is in asia.....

but i would get mirror when i was in uk, since i hate labour and their position to iraq war

港男 said...

Hi,
Welcome to England.

Elvis said...

Dreaminning,

剛進城就遇上一個持特區護照又被檢疫又要向警局登記的人

Carmelina said...

令我想起我上一次返英國都是清晨6時下機
T3的出口總好過其他的出口了!

我有位朋友持HKSAR's passport一落機便失了幾十磅,英國的海關真的好識搶錢!

港男 said...

We are old friends of Daisy in London. We understand you had so much fun 怒插港女. We can't wait to angrily insert you too.

Jerome Chiu said...

Years ago, when I was still in U.K., I used to buy The Independent every day. I read the rest in the common room. Nowadays, one could read almost all the quality papers and magazines online (one notable exception is New Yorker). This enhances the credibility of your claim that you looked for a hard copy of The Guardian not as a reader but as a poseur. BUT: I still believe you actually wanted to read it instead of appear reading it. :)

Elvis said...

Jerome Chiu,

哈哈, 被看穿了。其實真是想買來看的。衛報說國際大事的觀點和視野, 遠非香港報紙所能及。不過你也知道, 這個年頭的人毫不尊重知識, 拿著本 Economist 也要藏起來看, 否則讓人看到也會成為扮野和悶蛋的代名詞。我搶先自認冒充左仔, 也免得人家說吧。

Dreaminning said...

May be I am lucky so don't have all those nasty things while getting through the custom.......haha

I don't usually by newspaper, just grab a Metro to read on the bus.